Am I lucky?
I am lucky to have had a life changing manager and mentees but overall no.
Things have been an uphill battle at work, easier at times, easier with support but always uphill and unnecessarily so (due to inequality and toxic management). I don't perceive any lucky moments or opportunities and usually end up paying with pieces of my soul for anything positive that is offered/given to me.
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Best way to get me excited about something
Marketing something as a growth opportunity, or a teaching opportunity.
Full storyA fun fact about me is…
I love abandoned building and sunken ship exploration content.
Future ice dancer, the dream is to be surrounded my flowers, obsessed with ocean and galaxy projectors
Full storyProud moment
Extrinsic = mentoring sessions. Intrinsic = I can't remember, too long ago.
Ria: I am proud of her for taking the steps towards getting herself out of a toxic situation. It takes so much courage and strength to do this. Caiti: Starting to thrive, becoming more assertive and less anxious, able to remain intact while being surrounded by toxic behavior through social awareness and understanding that people's behavior towards her is not a reflection of her.
Full storyOne thing that might surprise you about me…
I was extremely introverted, painfully shy, awkward and self-critical.
In traumatic situations i.e. workplace mobbing, I revert back into this outdated version of me. These situations instill deep self doubt when my personal foundation is shattered, and makes me question myself.
Full storySomething that drives me crazy 😵💫 🤬
Toxicity and people who promote and enable it
It is so wrong. People deserve to be treated like people and not sub par humans/robots
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I really admire teammates who are…
leaders, technically knowledgeable, vulnerable and invest in others
These qualities inspire me and make me respect people
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😬😧🥴 Recently went outside my comfort zone…
Having to be vulnerable and admit I needed help with workplace bullying
I had to admit what was going on for years that I ignored and how I was an emotional mess
Full storyEpic work fails
1. Deleted the CoCT SCADA
These things happen and how to deal with other people's mistakes
Full storyWhen I'm stressed, you might notice me…
1. Be quiet since I am irritable and trying not to lash out at others
1. Acknowledge how I am feeling 2. Assist with better resourcing 3. Make an effort to take things of my plate
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Most fulfilling project I've worked on
Pearston - the project I grew up on & high impact on the community
I discovered my confidence and grew my competency on the project. Realised how everything I did was working towards a creating life changing situations for other people (clean water)
Full storyMy Achilles Heel is…
1. I get distracted by the injustices
Therapy which helps you distance yourself from the external noise and toxicity
Full storyTeammates might misunderstand me as...
1. A negative person who complains a lot 2. Difficult to work with
1. I have a lot of anger and resentment towards the team and individuals. My voice is not heard and is minimised 2. I cannot pretend to be happy so I give off a disengaged attitude towards people
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Things I'd love to learn
1. Negotiation 2. Work ethic
1. I want to approach situations with a win win attitude and not attempt to win alone 2. I have a bad work ethic and attitude which I need to work at
Full storyIndustry
1. It has an impact on the lives of others 2. Contributes to the advancement of society and communities 3. Requires critical solutions 4. Many stakeholders 5. Collaboration with multiple people to deliver a project
Full storyMy favorite books 📚
Smilla = driven by justice, bad bitch energy and humor, resilient
Full storyPeople who have impacted how I see the 🌍
Holiday = self confidence, finding myself, goal driven, ambitious. Ria & Caiti = self reflection, leadership, emotional intelligence, serving others who are walking the path that I am walking or have walked. Ewald = I understand what it means to be broken, unable to trust and respect, fear of being vulnerable or sharing any part of me (protection mechanism) ---> scared to get hurt Kenney, Carike, Mpho, Nina = Unwilling to be open and share any part of me, unable to be me in public, mot feeling safe. Owen = feeling of imprisoned Riaan = carrying around micromanagement demons
Full storyMy biggest fear
I value integrity, justice, equality and fairness, and have been on the receiving end of the lack of those qualities and it broke me...I would hate to now start displaying those behaviors and mindsets. I have felt helpless, overwhelmed, abandoned, unsupported and trapped. It damaged me because I feel so powerless, alone, lacking control, like no one cares, like I am meaningless and unworthy to others. I value freedom and do not want to feel like I am imprisoned and have no free will or control of my life.
Full storyYou can ask me about
Dealing with trauma and bullying, work place culture, insight into the feelings and underlying insecurities of people, solutions for people problems, navigating the workplace especially for those entering it, developing confidence, transformational learning and learning how to thrive through self reflection.
Full storyMy favorite movie
Top Gun = action, big dreams, exhilaration, achievement, loss and grief. Phantom of the Opera = songs which sing to my soul Ghost busters = retake on the classic, on point humor, women empowerment Encanto = amazing songs, storyline tackling societal issues and family dynamics.
Full storyPersonality type
EVERYTHING!!!!! Driven by growth and learning, want to be of service to others, possessing integrity and bothered by injustice, mostly misunderstood, need freedom/independence and autonomy, big dreamer and passionate, empathic, emotionally honest, sensitive to criticism, creative, insightful and perceptive, perfectionist, high importance placed on value alignment, wants to feel heard, intrinsically motivated, opinionated, need time and space to process, articulate, creative solver of people problems, unique voice,
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Things that deeply motivate me…
Helping others fills my cup. I want to see people grow and I want to help them develop into the best version of themselves, and give them the support that I didn't get. Learning fills my cup, and keeps away the boredom Doing work that adds value and creates an impact
Full storyThe best environment for me is:
I need focus time to work on deliverables
Full storyI like to get feedback when its given…
Communicate with kindness
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My core values
1. Fairness and equality - i know first hand how the lack of which systematically breaks a person down until they loose their inner light, personality, and drive for life 2. Learning - I want to constantly aim towards being a better person 3. Openess and authenticity - I connect with and trust people based on this. I dislike "flavour of the day" people 4. Humour - coping mechanism, and social connector 5. Respect - I need to be able to respect the people in my circle for people to remain in my 6. Creativity - feeds my soul, keeps you young and playful
Full storyOutside of work, you'll find me...
Interior decorating, TikTok
Full storyI learn best by…
I love learning from 101 sessions, and people's advice
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You will make my freakin day if you…
1. Jokes, laughter and authenticity
Full storyMy areas for growth
1. The success of the project is largely impacted by the unity of the team 2. I want to be the leader which utilizes each persons strengths to help them perform at their best and challenge themselves 3. To be a team player and think of us and not I. 4. I don't address issues as it comes up and build up resentment 5. Ability to create these relationships with team members will strengthen the bond and performance of the team
Full storyMy superpowers
1. Believe in lifting people as I rise 2. I have been in many hostile situations and am able to respectfully and professionally articulate 3. I believe in continuous learning and self improvement 4. I am not influenced by the negative behaviours of others and will stand for what is right and will not compromise myself 5. I push myself to do better and give back to the team
Full storyWhat I'm like at work
I work best as a…
My areas for growth
1. I had bad relationships with my previous colleagues
2. I am conflict averse and tend to not address issues promptly which builds up to a breaking point
3. I want to become better at project management. I am at right at the beginning of my journey and want to grow to the point that I am managing more complex projects.
4. I want good working relationships with colleagues where it is a safe space for both sides to fail and learn from those mistakes while knowing that they will have my back and I will have theirs.
My superpowers
1. Creates a easy working dynamic which leads to better project delivery.
2. Keeps things moving.
3. Keeps things moving in the right direction. There is always a guiding light.
4. Decisions are made with a target in mind.
5. It inspires confidence.
People who shaped me
Miguel - his quiet confidence, humbleness, and patience made me feel safe and let my guard down.
Barnard - his sense of humor brought out my personality and made me feel like myself again
Tiaan - he welcomed me into the team and took care of me while I was finding my feet
Madeli - I can't even express how grateful I am that I have a peer who is not competitive.
I worked best as a…
Atlantis Foundries: it takes a lot of communication and persuasiveness to get everything on track. I feel more like I am managing the project rather than the project is leading me.
Full storyGoing outside my comfort zone...
Crematorium: It was my first project with no contract, poorly designed scope and in an application that was new to me. It was also my first client interfacing project.
I have a number of lessons learnt from that project, and it helped me identify focus areas for the future. I was forced to become more at ease with difficult conversations especially with Clients.
Full storyEpic work fails
1. Messing up the Crematorium wiring schematic and feeding 230 V through the neutral and damaging the outputs of a PLC.
2. Poorly managing project finances through over spending hours
1. I learnt just how much I still have to learn and where my technical holes are.
2. I need to be more on top of the finances and be more creative with how to solve budgeting issues.
Fulfilling project
No project comes to mind. I am not sure a project can be fulfilling as a project manager when the majority of your duties are administrative. I find the people fulfilling with all the personalities and jokes. I like the agility and emotional intelligence that is required from me to execute a project, which were parts of me which were not being exercised enough in my previous role and environment.
I feel like my strengths are being exercised, acknowledged and appreciated. Management wants me to succeed and I can grow without fear. I feel safe!
Full storyProud moment
My courage to make this huge life change in the hope for something better by jumping into the unknown. My growth in the 3 months that I have been at Integ: I am become more confident and started self reflecting in a non-inner critic way. The courage to be myself and let people in again. I am proud of myself for being patient with myself while I pick up the pieces.
I lived with a lot of fear and with internal and external judgement and constantly in defense mode. I went through a lot of trauma in a hostile environment and I am doing the work to recover and rebuild myself.
Full storyLearnings
1. The world is much kinder than I thought.
2. Clarity - I was able to separate the circumstances and the person that I am.
3. You can have good relationships with your colleagues without loosing their respect.
4. What sort of environments I thrive in.
5. Everything I have wanted is now here: good people, being respected and treated well, opportunity to project manage, opportunity to learn and grow. I am developing skills now that I would not have had the opportunity to develop (client interfacing, dealing with contracts, having difficult discussions and having the opportunity to practice my emotional intelligence).
6. I can thrive as an emotional person and use that as a strength.
I am shedding the insecurities that were imposed upon me and reconnecting to my confidence and inherently balanced self. I feel like I was previously derailed self is now getting back to the path I was meant to be on. My inner dreamer and go-getter is reawakening.
Full storyI really admired teammates who were...
1. Miguel - the humble, patient, non-judgmental allrounder
2. Barnard - humor and honesty
3. Tiaan - the teacher
4. Madeli - non-competitiveness
1. I needed a safe space and patience while I found my footing in a new environment and field.
2. Keeps things fun and will respectfully challenge me.
3. Caring and considerate - things I didn't know that I needed to make the transition
4. Silent assurance that there is a place for me and that I don't need to fight for a seat at the table.
Things that motivated me
I was reminded how I was chasing the wrong thing in my career and that irrespective of how may years of experience that I have, I should always aim to be the best engineer that I could possibly be. I have absorbed negative comments about my aspirations of being a project manager so I am now proving to myself that I can be a project manager and that those negative beliefs are incorrect. I enjoy the Integ team and all the personalities, and I feel safe physically and psychologically.
Full storyWhat I was like at work
I am hard working, dressed like a boss but also let me personality come through and laughed a lot.
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